I have had the passion to study psychology, parapsychology and spiritualism (tassuvuf) for decades, starting with psychology at the age of 15. From psychology I moved to parapsychology and ended up with tassuvuf. It has been a long and arduous journey of 'hide and seek' within the self to unravel the mysteries of the the human psyche: mind, emotions and actions.
From my study, I can say it with absolute confidence that EVERYONE, and I repeat EVERYONE, carries an 'ideal' person in his/her mind. It doesn't matter whether the person is educated or illiterate, though his/her perception of the 'ideal' person may vary with the person's level of education and exposure.
By 'ideal', we generally mean 'perfect.' There is no such thing as a perfect person. It ONLY happens in movies, not in real life. The more we are exposed to movies and novels, the more we are driven towards 'My Ideal Person.'
All our lives we carry the 'ideal' person with us in our conscious, subconscious or unconscious mind. It is NEVER eroded unless you have the ideal person matching with your perception of the 'ideal' person in your real life. That's almost impossible to happen in real life.
What really happens is that you put a value on a single aspect of a person's personality: beauty, intellect, physique. This value overrides all other personality charateristics. When you find the 'overriding value' in anybody's personality, your emotions jump on him/her. That's not logical: its emotional. That one 'overriding value' may not make the person perfect for you in real life.
So, always think logically. Set your parameters on logic, not emotions. And change over from your 'perceived' emotion-based ideal beloved to the 'real' logic-based ideal beloved. That's the key to happiness in real life.
(Excerpts from the autobiography 'Living Beyond Self' by Mumtaz A. Piracha)
No comments:
Post a Comment